Your words always leave me with an ease that's otherwise difficult to find. I loved loved loved this. I do think about who I would be if I let go of the fear and the answer is...who I am right now. Like you, I grew up in a better conditions than my parents did. Unlike you, I had the freedom to be whoever I wish to be. Yet the fear held me back. Fear of what? I was so terrified of trying, or perhaps on a deeper level, terrified of to be seen trying.
Without fear, I'm a woman who feels enough. She may be scared and may be going through life with her eyes partially shut, but she is moving, she is progressing. Even in her regression, there's a breath which knows it all.
May your words enlighten paths. For you, for me or for anyone who needs that light. :)
I relate to this so hard. Currently I’m living the life opposite of what my parents wanted me to live and it’s transformed me from the “good girl” to the black sheep in the family. It’s disheartening to know that we may never change each other’s perspectives, but I know even my parents aren’t happy after following all the spoken and unspoken rules of their culture all their lives.
I hear you so much on this. It’s such a lonely and bittersweet place to be.
It’s hard when you realise that even following all the rules didn’t bring them happiness, yet they still want that life for you. I really think it's because our parents are afraid of us pursuing an alternative path because they would not be able to guide us in a world they don't know. So if we stick to their path, at least they can walk with us.
I choose to see it as an act of connection, rather than control. We'll never really know. Just know you’re not alone in this — there are so many of us figuring out how to stand in our truth without losing the love we came from. Sending you so much strength
I honestly feel it vividly but less with traveling, and more so with feeling like a woman—sexual, fertile, indulging—and not like my parents’ little girl anymore. It breaks my brain every time I visit. Like… how can I coexist in the same space with them as a grown woman if I’m a kid in their mind?
Honestly, just visiting parents is so trippy, even if you’re close with them. 😅
I'm living with them long term in-between travels and I totallllllyyyy understand this!!!!!!
I used to think the same but in the last few weeks, I have begun to find it endearing. they're the only ones who will assume your innocence, and that's sweet. I'm still the same kid they see me as, and without their reminder, I just might forget.
I loved this! I relate to this so much. Currently, I’ve made the other choice where not going for freedom but sticking to home because my parents are far older than my friends’ and if I chase my freedom now, I won’t be able to come back to them later and will regret it. Instead, I’m taking my freedom in small ways—making decisions on my own, travelling with strangers, trying new things—and I only let them know after it happens or never (yet). Kinda feels like I’m living a double life but this is the only way I’m able to have both sides.
I hear you. That choice is so hard, and I really respect the balance you’re trying to keep. There’s so much love and sacrifice in staying close to family, even when your heart is pulling you toward freedom. And I get that feeling of living a double life, trying to honor your own desires while protecting their peace is one I struggle with too. It makes me doubt my choices and scrutinously weigh my options, rather than just enjoy in the lightness of being.
There is something beautiful in the small freedoms you’re carving out. Those quiet acts of independence still matter. They shape you, even if they happen in the spaces they don’t always see.
I hope you never feel alone in that in-between, there are so many of us figuring out how to hold both.
Your words always leave me with an ease that's otherwise difficult to find. I loved loved loved this. I do think about who I would be if I let go of the fear and the answer is...who I am right now. Like you, I grew up in a better conditions than my parents did. Unlike you, I had the freedom to be whoever I wish to be. Yet the fear held me back. Fear of what? I was so terrified of trying, or perhaps on a deeper level, terrified of to be seen trying.
Without fear, I'm a woman who feels enough. She may be scared and may be going through life with her eyes partially shut, but she is moving, she is progressing. Even in her regression, there's a breath which knows it all.
May your words enlighten paths. For you, for me or for anyone who needs that light. :)
So beautifully put! Thanks, Rashika
I read it on one breath ❤️
big breath! im glad you liked it. i hope it made you think about that last question too.
you gave voice to thoughts I didn’t know I had
I’m so glad this resonated with you <3
I relate to this so hard. Currently I’m living the life opposite of what my parents wanted me to live and it’s transformed me from the “good girl” to the black sheep in the family. It’s disheartening to know that we may never change each other’s perspectives, but I know even my parents aren’t happy after following all the spoken and unspoken rules of their culture all their lives.
I hear you so much on this. It’s such a lonely and bittersweet place to be.
It’s hard when you realise that even following all the rules didn’t bring them happiness, yet they still want that life for you. I really think it's because our parents are afraid of us pursuing an alternative path because they would not be able to guide us in a world they don't know. So if we stick to their path, at least they can walk with us.
I choose to see it as an act of connection, rather than control. We'll never really know. Just know you’re not alone in this — there are so many of us figuring out how to stand in our truth without losing the love we came from. Sending you so much strength
I honestly feel it vividly but less with traveling, and more so with feeling like a woman—sexual, fertile, indulging—and not like my parents’ little girl anymore. It breaks my brain every time I visit. Like… how can I coexist in the same space with them as a grown woman if I’m a kid in their mind?
Honestly, just visiting parents is so trippy, even if you’re close with them. 😅
I'm living with them long term in-between travels and I totallllllyyyy understand this!!!!!!
I used to think the same but in the last few weeks, I have begun to find it endearing. they're the only ones who will assume your innocence, and that's sweet. I'm still the same kid they see me as, and without their reminder, I just might forget.
I loved this! I relate to this so much. Currently, I’ve made the other choice where not going for freedom but sticking to home because my parents are far older than my friends’ and if I chase my freedom now, I won’t be able to come back to them later and will regret it. Instead, I’m taking my freedom in small ways—making decisions on my own, travelling with strangers, trying new things—and I only let them know after it happens or never (yet). Kinda feels like I’m living a double life but this is the only way I’m able to have both sides.
I hear you. That choice is so hard, and I really respect the balance you’re trying to keep. There’s so much love and sacrifice in staying close to family, even when your heart is pulling you toward freedom. And I get that feeling of living a double life, trying to honor your own desires while protecting their peace is one I struggle with too. It makes me doubt my choices and scrutinously weigh my options, rather than just enjoy in the lightness of being.
There is something beautiful in the small freedoms you’re carving out. Those quiet acts of independence still matter. They shape you, even if they happen in the spaces they don’t always see.
I hope you never feel alone in that in-between, there are so many of us figuring out how to hold both.
You’re absolutely right, I hope that fewer people feel this as the years pass because this shouldn’t be a burden that every gen faces
I agree :)
It starts with us, in my opinion -- if I don't want my kids to behave this way, I must break the link for them first.